i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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