I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
