Why are handjobs necessary in class?
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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