I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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