Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
