Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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