used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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