Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
