her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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