Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Drunk is not a location!
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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