he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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