I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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