You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
