Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
