Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Randomize
