I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
