its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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