You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
