just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
