Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
