Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
