So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
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