Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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