So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Randomize
