He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
