she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Randomize
