were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
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