): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
