just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Dignity is for republicans.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
