Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
