I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
