Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Drunk is a universal language darling
Randomize
