I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize