we have pet lesbian snakes
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Randomize
