Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
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