Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize