I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
