she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
