I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
