i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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