two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
