The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
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