after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
