My brain says no but my pants say off.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
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