I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
