I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
