i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize