i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Come share oat with me in your robe
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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