Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
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