We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
either way he was missing a nipple.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Randomize
