tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Randomize
