I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
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