i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
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