i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
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