I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
