I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
