Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
It's official drugs can't kill me
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
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