the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
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