Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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