Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
barbara walters just said penis...
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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