More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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