Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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