dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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