Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
