We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
