return my video game
my sisters under your porch take her home
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
