He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
