Plan B is the new Plan A
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I want her autograph on my taint
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
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