I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Randomize
