3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
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