oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Randomize
