You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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